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He convinced me that I should try and make things up with you, at the very least apologise.’ ‘So what do you want from me?’ he asked. There was a silence, I didn’t know what to say for a moment, and then words came stumbling out. ‘I wanted to see if we could still be friends. I wanted to see you again because I missed you a lot. I hoped that I could test some theories.’ He looked very puzzled at that. ‘What theories?’ ‘Mine that you only wanted me because you couldn’t have me… and yours that I was pushing you away because I couldn’t trust myself to be around you.’ These were almost the last things we had said to each other before I left the house the last time I had seen him. I hoped that they might have some effect, and also let him know that I was interested in being more than friends, without actually having to say it. I knew what I wanted but I was still terrified that he wouldn’t want me after I had hurt him. He seemed to be thinking for a moment, and then he stood up and came. I try so hard to act as if I didn’t notice him. He says “hello” and as I look at him to return the hello I am speechless for a brief moment. I am finally able to utter “hello”. He can’t take his eyes off me. He senses my uneasiness and offers to walk me to my car. We exchange names and speak of the beautiful afternoon. What am I doing? I’m a married woman, but his voice, his strong stature and those eyes. I can’t resist. It is like he is pulling me into some kind of trance. He asked if I would like to join him for a drink. I couldn’t believe that I was hearing myself say “Yes”.We walk to this little café just down the street from the park. Our conversation up to this point has just been small talk. After the waitress brings our drinks, he leans into me and tells me he will own me before the night is over. Wait a minute now. What is he talking about? Own me. I am married. I already belong to someone. I ask him what he means and he told me he could see that I am a.
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